Four Month’s

Dear Tristan,

I wanted and needed you before God made you inside of me. Some might have said I was selfish for wanting you so badly. After having your sister Sophie I was afraid. Afraid I would never have a normal life again. She was it, our final masterpiece or so I thought.

When I found out you were growing inside of me I was so happy but so scared at the same time. Would you be healthy I wondered. Was having you just because I wanted you a selfish act, was I taking too much away from your sister I would ask myself.

Then the day arrived when you joined us. A healthy, strong and PERFECT little boy. Ten fingers, ten toes a beautiful STRONG cry. I did not even come close to imagining the impact you would have on our lives.

You complete me, You complete us! You helped me realize that our life is normal, it’s just a different normal. You, my precious little boy have helped your sister in these last four months of your life more than I could have ever dreamed of.

Your sister loves you so much and although she cannot express herself through words she does many other ways. Her silent kisses to your forward or the way she rests her head on your tummy, or when she tries to help burp you or stands over you and smiles while your swinging. These are her words they are louder than any word she could possibly mumble.

You are loved by so many, we may not have much but we have plenty of love. You  are spoiled rotten by all of us. You cannot cry for more than a few seconds before one of your brothers or sister runs over to get you. And that amazing smile!! How about the fact you know you have us all wrapped around your little finger.

You are four months today!! You weigh 15.8 lbs and are 24” long almost as big as your little big sister Sophie. Your hair is falling out some but you are as handsome as can be. You look gorgeous in everything but your best colors are red and brown. You have been cooing for two months now, and thanks to you your sister seems interested in cooing as well. She is so intrigued by the sounds you make. You loves to take baths and lots of attention. When your upset it makes Sophie sad and she cries with you. You have rolled from front to back twice and are reaching for objects dangling in front of you. Oh, and your laugh it just makes me melt.

Although sometimes it hurts to see your sister struggle to learn the things that come so easy to you I am amazed at every little thing you do. I now know my wanting you so badly was because you complete US as a family. You were always meant to be here, with us.

Having you did not hurt the extra time away from your sister but helped her become more independent and helped me let go enough to let her be her.

You are perfect in every way…We love you more than words can describe. I cannot imagine my life without you or your brothers or sisters. They will always be there  and take care of  you and you will never be alone.  I thank God for you everyday. Oh, how I love you my precious child.

Happy Four Months “Tristan”

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