The right decision

Why must life always be so complicated? It’s so hard to find balance after losing it for so long. We often make decisions and then wonder what made us go down that particular path. We sometimes look back and are grateful for certain decisions or we can sometimes wish we would have chosen differently. It’s more than difficult to try to figure out what will be the right decision for yourself or your family at certain crossroads in our lives.

I am at one of those cross roads at this particular moment, a really difficult one; quite possibly one of the most difficult in my life so far. To say my life was turned upside down just a few years ago is an understatement, it’s still spinning from where I’m standing.  Like a lot of people I thought I had my life figured out. Life was great just a few short years ago then my mother in law moved in with us and my marriage almost fell apart. My financial stability was shaken and just when we started to regain control of our lives again, Sophie was born. Her birth forced us to reevaluate our entire life, our goals and ultimately forced us to re-write our future.

I made the right decision to quit my job and stay home with my daughter I have no doubt about that. Sophie is here because of our dedication to make her better and our love for her but the consequences of that decision is one we have yet to overcome. That decision also set the path for a whole new journey, my journey. To find my self, balance and my strength. And ultimately to figure out where to go from here now that I am who I was meant to be.

How can you make the right decision alone? When the person who is supposed to support and encourage your decisions is against them. How do you move forward when you have two different out looks in life. When your goals are not the same anymore. When you have grown immensely but your companion does not want to accept it. For how long do you have to continue to compromise? When do you say enough? I’m starting to wonder if that’s even a possibility.

Our family need’s change. I need change, a fresh start.  We have talked about leaving this life behind and starting over for a long time. The pro’s and con’s have been discussed dozens of times, the acknowledgement of what is right is there but not the reaction. I feel like the whole world is against me. Everyone feels entitled to impose their opinions as if I’m asking for them.

The right decision, does anyone really know what it is before it’s been made. Don’t we figure them out as we move forward in life. How do we know if something will not work if we refuse to even give it a try. In life we must make sacrifices for our families but why is it always the same person having to compromise and sacrifice.

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