Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships, I have had a few most of us will have one or more in our lifetime. They can be subtle that we don’t even realize it and some are obvious but we choose to pretend we don’t see it because we care. I personally like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I like to believe everyone has good in them even when that notion seems hopeless. My husband tells me I’m too forgiving and that’s why people take advantage of me. I guess looking for the good in everyone is a blessing and a curse. The blessings are that I can be positive and forgive with hope’s that the future can be better. The negative is that it makes it hard for me to say no, I forgive even the most difficult of betrayals and the worst is the inability to let go of the toxic people in my life.

Any relationship is a work in progress whether it’s a life partner, friend or family member. No one is perfect and in accepting the people in our lives we must accept them wholly, even the best relationships can require a lot of work but If both parties are willing to accept each others faults and moods than it’s because we value these relationships and are willing to make the effort to keep them.

A toxic relationship can be described as a relationship that is emotionally or physically damaging. They sometimes thrive from undermining and putting the other person down. In their eyes you are useless, your feelings are less than theirs. This type of relationship is often recognized by and individual who is insecure, self-centered, dominant and controlling. We risk our very being by staying in such a relationship that drains us of positive outlooks and energy. To describe it as dysfunctional relationship is an understatement.

In a healthy relationship you have acceptance, mutual caring, compromise, respect, compassion and honesty. A safe place where we can be ourselves without fear where we feel comfortable and secure. Where there is genuine desire for each other’s emotional and physical well-being and happiness.

In the last few years I have finally learned to recognize the many toxic relationships I have had in my life. It was time for a change as I saw it, and one by one I began letting them go. Some childhood friends and even family. Today I can look back and know I made the right decision. It was hard and even today I miss some of those individuals but the negative influence was more than I was willing to compromise with.  I can recall clear as day the negativity those relationships brought to my life. It does not mean I have stopped caring for certain individuals it just means I deserve more meaningful relationships. I deserve to have people in my life that are willing to make time for me as I do for them. I deserve to get through a conversation without one negative comment. I deserve to have people in my life that care, that don’t need to put me down to feel better about themselves. I want to surround my self with love and positive energy and that is what I am doing.

Toxic relationships are all around us it’s up to us whether we choose to live with them or find the strength to let them go.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”  ~Keri Russell

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