I decided this year I would focus on being happy. Into the first few weeks of this new year several issues arose to throw off the balance I had created, I was stressed to the max. Than, I decided I needed to let it go, be thankful for all I have and how far I’ve come and I refuse to let anything interfere with my happiness. I have to take care of myself if I want to be around to watch my children grow up and the stress was beginning to get to me physically. I had been having headaches, dizzy spells, weight gain and my hair began to fall out in a scary way.
I decided to make some changes and am no longer allowing anything and everything to get to me anymore. I realized last week that I was feeding in to my children’s effort to get under my skin by being disrespectful and constantly arguing with each other, my husband and of course, me. Not anymore. I made it known that I will no longer tolerate their sarcasm or dramatics nor would I allow them to upset me in a way that left me breathless and in tears.
I decided I would stand up for myself from here on out. I have allowed too many people to take advantage of me and my drive to always help others, too many have taken my generosity and turned it into a convenience for themselves with no consideration for me as if I am no one. I’m done with that!
I am taking deep breaths and allowing my self a moment when I need it and I have accepted hat I have an obsession with perfection and organization and it was driving me insane. I’m working on that.
I decided I need to give myself a break, the combination of mental, physical and emotional stress I was carrying was going to end in a very bad way if I did not learn to give myself a break. There is alot I have been working on within myself the last few weeks and I have to say I am happier. I am relaxed! I can take a deep breath and clear my head and not feel guilty about it, it’s so nice. I had gotten to the point where I would have a glass or two of wine before bed to settle my mind and relax enough to fall asleep instead of tossing and turning for an hour because I could not shut my brain off. Not anymore. I have had no need or desire to drink before bed, I had a glass of wine the other day just because I wanted one with no underlying reason. It was great.
I decided I needed to let go of the past. Although I had thought I had moved on I was still dwelling on so much of it and while I will never forget I will move forward without it weighing heavily on me. My mother in law is one of the biggest disappointments and just the thought of her would cause me to became angry and bitter with my husband. She is not a nice woman and that’s a fact but I will not allow the thought of her to disrupt my peace anymore. I’m done with it! It is such a liberating feeling to let go of the things that have been weighing on your heart. I’ve decided to let go and let God.
It truly is amazing how much your life can change when you are kind to yourself. So far I am really liking this improved me.