I’m still here…

After what I thought was an anxiety attack I vowed to relax and try to regain my strength but later that evening my chest pains returned and were worse than ever. This time though I heeded the advice of a friend and headed to the hospital.  I was scared, I thought I was having a heart attack.

I drove to the hospital leaving my husband home with the kids, I arrived safely but in a lot of pain. I was scared out of my mind that something could be wrong with me, they checked me in gave me some aspirin and started working on my stats, blood work and x-rays.  And than I waited, afraid of what could possibly be wrong with me since I have always been pretty healthy. When the doctor came in to examine me I explained my situation to him and I could see the sorrow in his face. I’m not sure if it was sadness or maybe it was pity for the overwhelmed mother of seven sitting there crying and scared, my pain he said was obvious and I don’t think he meant physical pain. I wondered to myself, am I that transparent?

He than started to go down the list of questions, did I eat at least three meals a day? With my head down I admitted to some days only eating once, who has the time to eat!  Was I drinking enough water? Honestly I do not know. Have I ever suffered from high blood pressure? Only in pregnancy and there is NO WAY I am pregnant. My x-rays looked good but my blood pressure was high and my electrolytes, magnesium, iron and some other levels were very off. He wanted to admit me for further tests but there was no way that could happen.

The doctor told me he does not think my weight was causing the elevation in my blood pressure but that it would not hurt if I lost 15-20lbs just incase.  He suspected it to be an anxiety attack because I’m so young but he also said it could be a warning sign of something with my heart. He was not very pleased with the fact that I had to return home but he understood and they gave me meds to lower my blood pressure, he than ordered me to go home and eat a full meal. He begged me to follow-up with another doctor for more tests. At least I know I wasn’t dying. I am now on an aspirin a day regimen to be safe until I know more.

So I have taken it as slow as I can this week. Lounging on the sofa as much as possible and leaving the housework and cooking to my husband and kids. I even stepped away from my computer for a few days. Now I’m regaining my strength and collecting myself again. Sophie is feeling better and that is a huge relief for me.

So…I’m still here! I’m very behind on my emails, blog reads and now everything else. My “to do” list seems to have grown double in length but I’m back and I’ll get it done as I always do. Contemplating trying to lose a bit of weight because I do not want to have high blood pressure. I want to be healthy and enjoy my life. I see a Zumba game for the WII in my future, if I cannot get out to exercise I will find something I can do in doors, there should be no excuses.

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