It’s two months shy of the one year anniversary of me becoming Ariana’s legal guardian. She has come a long way, it has been difficult in many ways for all of us. Ariana has ADHD, if you are unfamiliar with the term it’s Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Did she inherit it, it’s possible as it is in my family or it could have possibly been from the neglect on my sister’s behalf while she was carrying her in her womb. Either way she has it. Not only has she had to learn to live with us but she is also learning to overcome the night mares she was forced to live before she lived with me, thanks to counseling she is doing so much better.
Ariana cannot stay still, she has to be moving constantly. It’s almost impossible to get her to focus for more than a couple of minutes, this has caused alot of disruption in school where her teacher was forced to move her desk several feet away from the rest of the class to get her to pay attention and focus. I am very lucky she has a teacher that is working with me to give her the best support possible. She has alot of behavioural issues that Elyas has begun to pick up on and some days I just want to send them both to the room for the entire day. Ariana has aggressive outbursts and has an extremely hard time keeping quite. She cannot keep her self calm and constantly interrupts conversations because she just HAS to say something. It’s alot, it’s hard and can be overwhelming in my already crazy life but we are making it through with good progress.
Yesterday at her counseling session the therapist was very pleased to see the way she was speaking to me and her comfort level with me has grown immensely, it’s more parent child than niece and aunt. We believe she has begun to finally fall into her place with us. When children go through such difficult experiences they can block out emotion and often lash out to avoid attachment for fear of abandonment, we went through those difficult motions with her. It was hard beyond words, I felt as if I was failing her many times but I now see those were phases she had to pass in order to begin to heal.
Recently I started to notice weird ticks where she squints her eyes and shakes he head down ward. I became paranoid thinking there could be something wrong and I asked her therapist to validate what I saw. When he confirmed that I was in fact not going crazy and this was actually happening I got her in to see the doctor just to be safe. He confirmed it’s just a symptom of the ADHD. I was relieved to know it was nothing dangerous, we discussed medications but we both decided it was not severe enough to medicate her. Have I told you how I dislike medications? Especially medicating children, that is a huge no no in my book unless absolutely necessary. My brother was medicated as a young child and he is still traumatized from those experiences today. I will do the best I can without meds unless it is absolutely necessary. If I got over my childhood I am confident with time she will be ok.
We still have a long road a head of us but we will get through this.