When my life began to spiral out of control both financially and emotionally I didn’t think I could survive it. I thought I was not strong enough so I began to look for a way out, an instant fix. Sometimes though, what we think we want and what we need are completely different.
When the reality hit me that we were short selling our home I began my crusade to leave, to leave Florida because it would just be better. At least that’s what I told myself. I used our financial status as an excuse, Florida was just too expensive and there was no way we would survive and I stuck with it. I used Sophie as the bigger reason and I had convinced myself that services for her would be non-existent there. This is what ultimately set into motion our move because I thought that it would be the answer to all of our struggles.
What I didn’t realize was that no matter where we live my life will always be difficult, there is no instant fix. I know that now.
I left Florida because I thought I was alone, now that I have been away for almost an entire year I have realized that assumption was far from the truth. I was not alone, my home was always full of friends and family. Even if it was a stop by for a quick cup of coffee there was always someone there. Now that “I am” alone, I can appreciate all those wonderful people who were always a part of my life.
I did not realize how easy I had it when it came to Sophie’s doctors in Florida. I took for granted the convenience of having them all so close and their consideration with the severity of Sophie’s health was huge. When we needed a procedure done we did not have to wait 7 weeks to have it done I could get it done immediately. Although I have a great pediatrician here and they have been amazing with us there are no specialists here locally and Sophie sees alot of specialists. I have to drive 2 hours each way to take her to see a specialist and wait months before they can get her in because they only work certain days. It’s frustrating, especially because her health has not improved since we have been here. It has actually worsened.
I often complained about how I hated the heat in FL and I do love the cold weather here but I had not realized how it would affect Sophie’s health. It’s hard enough for me not being able to take her out because of her immune system but to make matters worse I can’t even take her outside to play so she is literally cooped up in this house 24/7.
I am very immersed in my latin culture from the food to the language, here there is no culture. Even the few latin people we have met are not very social. I am a very social person, we are very social people. There are no latin bakery’s or barber shops, it’s been a cultural shock for us, we miss our Latins. And forget about my latin vegetables the only latin grocery store is ridiculously expensive, I have to pay almost 3 times what I would pay in FL. So we don’t get to eat them as much as we would like to.
I did not realize how not having the little things would affect my family, I had no idea these rituals were so important to my children. Like, going to Tropical bakery to get cuban coffee and pastries on Sunday mornings. Or our BBQ’s at the park, here the only park around is 15 min away and there’s not much there. The beach is not twenty minutes away anymore and even though we did not frequent it too much we no longer have that option.
We miss Friday night dinner’s with my BFF Glenna and parties, it’s so hard not having parties for the kids. I miss couponing, oh how I miss couponing and shopping at Publix! And, I never realized how much produce we used until I was here without a produce market, I spend four times what I used to spend a month just on produce.
I took for granted date nights, oh how I miss them. I miss having someone to come and stay with the kids so I could go out and give my mind a break without worrying about the kids. I miss visits with my brother and game night at my place.
Who knew I would miss living in Florida, who knew there was so much I was taking for granted.
To be continued….