Not a punishment

Not a punishment

As human beings we make mistakes, it’s part of the journey of life. We make mistakes and we learn from them and the experience helps us grow as individuals.

I have made mistakes in my life, who hasn’t? It’s no secret that I had a pretty rough childhood and it took me a very long time to overcome it. I have made mistakes that have hurt the people I love, not out of malicious intent but because sometimes we just lose ourselves in the process of trying to figure out who we are and as we try to figure out, LIFE. I have made things right with those I love and hurt and have forgiven myself, I am only human after all. Only God can judge me and anyone else who tries too should take a look into the mirror before they want to throw stones. Especially those with more than one skeleton in the closet.

I recently learned that a family member who I am no longer close with is not only saying lies about me but stated that my daughter was born with Cri du Chat Syndrome and I am suffering all of her sickness because God is punishing me for my mistakes.

I’m sorry they feel this way. I’m sorry their life is so empty and sad that they must criticize and judge others and pretend to know the secrets of life in order to feel something.

I do not believe that the God I believe in is a hateful or vengeful God, he is a God of unconditional love and compassion. The only punishments we suffer in life are those we bring about with our own actions; it’s called Karma. A child is not a punishment but a gift and any person who believes otherwise is ignorant.

The truth is my daughter was born with Cri du Chat Syndrome because as she was forming the genetic material for chromosome 5 did not attach as it should have, that’s natures doing. It was not caused by God or anything that I did.

Children with special needs are born  to good and healthy people everyday not because they are being punished but because life isn’t always fair and that is the truth.

This comment came from the same person who questioned why I gave up my financial stability to stay home and care for the child I was told would not survive. This person said I should have thought long and hard before giving up my security.

To this ignorant individual. Life is not about the amount of money you make or the little material luxuries you can have it’s about the simplest of things and unforgettable moments. Life is about Love. The life of my child is worth more to me than any of the material comforts money can by.

My child who happens to have been born with Cri du Chat Syndrome is NOT a punishment. Sophie is just one of my blessings!


13 thoughts on “Not a punishment

  1. Elastamom

    That makes me so sad, Charity. That person obviously has a lot of demons of her own. You are a wonderful person with a big heart. Don’t you forget it!

  2. gmc2m4

    Could the person you are referring to thought they were giving you good advice and maybe it is the advice they would have followed if they were in your shoes. Whether you agree with them or not everyone is on their own journey whether they believe in the same things you do or not. Maybe it was not meant to be a personal attack like you seem to believe it was yet by you stating the following: “I’m sorry their life is so empty and sad that they must criticize and judge others and pretend to know the secrets of life in order to feel something” isn’t that judging and/or criticizing them just the same?

    1. My Dance in the Rain Post author

      To gmc2m4
      No, the person who said that was not thinking in my best interest if it had been their child they would have preferred they had just passed away because life would be easier that way. And it was a personal attack! I am not judging them for I have known them my entire life to know what kind of person they are, the difference is I am honest and express my feelings in person to their face and do not gossip about them.

      I find it strange that you should continue to read my blog when you obviously do not agree with what I write and always try to turn my writings around to make it seem as if I’m being unjust. Maybe this is not the right blog for you to follow, I appreciate the input but I honestly do not like negativity in my space.

  3. Tommie

    Oooh, this is so sad. Like you, I don’t think my daughter was given to my as a punishment. She’s one of my greatest joys. I agree with other posters who think this person must have her own cross to bear and he/she can’t imagine the joy you find in caring for Sophie.

  4. gmc2m4

    I am just offering you another way to look at things. Maybe things you have not thought of and could open your mind further. We all need to open our eyes and hearts to other’s and sometimes someone else’s point of view may help us to do that. The person you speak of is someone that you believe to know the character of ….if this person is so flawed in your eyes, why would you continue the relationship for so long? And, I am sorry to say this but you are gossiping about this person by even blogging about it. (Gossip is idle talk or rumor about the personal or private affairs of others). We do have our own journey’s and I am sorry you don’t want others to voice their opinion about your blog if it differs from your own. But that is what a blog is and the reason to have comments. Not just hear how great you are.

    1. Cassandra

      Charity is not gossiping. She is telling about events in her life and her emotional response to these events. It’s what us adults call a Conversation. Charity has never come off as wanting people to tell her how great she is. Your responses to her blog don’t come off as you trying to show the other side. It’s comes off as judgmental.

  5. My Dance in the Rain Post author

    To gmc2m4
    I often turn the tables and think of about if roles were reversed in many situations. And I currently do not have an active relationship with this person and the reason they are still and will always be a part of my life is because they are tied to me by the bonds of blood. And this person is not flawed in my eyes, they are just different we are very different. You may say I am gossiping and that is your opinion, if I am airing thier dirty laundry please point it out because I do not see any. This is MY blog, my public life journal. I am merely sharing facts along with my personal thoughts and feelings. I have no problem with comments that point out different views or perspectives but your comments always end in a personal insult and I find it offensive especially because you do not know me and are not obligated to read my blog! My daughter reads my blog and was very upset at one of your previous comments, I did not delete your comment because I have an open mind. And I am not looking for recognition or for people to say “how great I am” if you think that’s why I blog than you have taken nothing away from my posts.

    We are all different, I chose to look for the best in life despite difficult circumstances. You have never walked a day in my shoes and you have no idea who I am.

  6. amy

    I agree, I have a daughter with disabilities also and I consider her to be nothing but a blessing. do not let others negativity get you down you are doing a fantastic job, keep it up!

  7. gmc2m4

    I appreciate you reading posts that differ from your own. And, no you do not know me – nor my journey. Nor do you know that I have one of life’s greatest blessings with a son of my own that has Cri du Chat Syndrome. While it has been a difficult journey, as a single dad raising a special needs child on my own, it has been a gift as well. I don’t take that away from you. I enjoy your blog and its nice to know others are going through the same thing. Some of your posts make me laugh, some make me cry. However, sometimes your blog seems, to me, as if you do criticize others that have a different view and if someone happens to raise a question you do not like you tend to get very defensive. Which is your prerogative and after all it is your blog. But I respond by what I feel after I read your posts
    . As for the person in the current post what they said to you when you found out about your daughter may not have been the right choice for you – however if the shoe was on the other foot it may have been the best choice for them. Why that may sound hateful but everyone’s journey is different – even those that you think you “know”. And for some, financial security matters more to them and that is fine, it is their life. I guess in the final analysis sometimes we have to make the choices that are best for your own journey at that moment in time.


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