How being a Special Needs parent has aged me.

Being SN parent aged meThis was me before I got pregnant with Sophie, I was 29 years old. I was a different person. I was beautiful and I felt young. When I look in the mirror this is who I want to see. I hardly recognize myself anymore and it saddens me.

I struggled with low self-esteem most of my life and always had a really hard time seeing myself. I worked hard to get to a place where I finally felt good about myself. I have always bragged about how I want to age gracefully welcoming the years I have earned in this life. It’s still important for me to age gracefully but I feel as if I’ve aged ten years in the last four. That’s not aging gracefully! That scares me because I want to enjoy my years and looks as much as I can and as long as possible.

Being SN parent aged me_2

This is me now. That’s my grandmother, I look just like her.

The last four years have brought so much stress to my life. Being a Special Needs Parent can be so hard and draining. I gained a ton of weight. I was angry, alot. I cried, alot. I rarely sleep and boy have I worried!

I have wrinkles on my face, my hands and even my toes. I just found some gray hair too, now that’s a BIG DEAL to women. All the anguish I have felt has bled through my soul into my body. My energy has felt drained and I have to push myself for physical motivation.

I cannot stop myself from aging because that’s a natural process but I sure as hell am not going to allow myself to age at the accelerated rate I have been these last few years. It’s time to take action.

So I am working hard to laugh, alot. To be happy as much as I can and get healthy. Worrying will always be hard to let go of but I will do my best to not allow worry or stress to overpower my peace of mind.

I don’t want to look older than I am. I will not let life take that away from me yet. Look out Mother Nature I’m taking back control!

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