Life can be unfair. I have learned this through many experiences and It’s disheartening when you realize how unjust it really is.
For example. I know a hand full of wonderful people who want desperately to have children and cannot or struggle immensely to fulfill that desire. It’s heartbreaking. Then you look around and see the many parents who have children and abuse them or not care for them. It’s a sad reality, an unjust world we live in.
I am still new to this world of special needs. I grow and learn more from it every single day. My teachers are these special children and their families, I learn a great deal from being a part of the journey of others. The parents of the older individuals who have come and gone from the place that I am now. The majority of those I encounter have immense love for that special person in their lives, they are hopeful and can see beyond the stigma of a person with special needs. They see the individual not the disability.
But, it’s not always that way, there are those who are very ungrateful. I have read articles of parents suing doctors because it was not found that their child had a disability before birth and had they known they would have opted to terminate because it has made their life too hard. They are not talking about a plant, it’s a human being and their flesh and blood. How sad that this child will one day know how much their parents never loved them and that they are a burden to them.
While most of my encounters with other special needs families have been positive I have had the negative experience too. And it makes me really angry. Why? Because I’ve been fighting for my daughter’s life from the moment she took her first breath. I push through all the difficult hands we have been dealt and set no limits to what her abilities will grow to or who she will become.
Does it cross my mind that my daughter may be a teenager in diapers one day? absolutely. Do I look forward to it? No. But it’s a possibility that I have to live with, it does not make her a burden in my life because I know why it’s a possibility. It’s not that she will refuse to learn or is lazy, it’s because when she was created her genetic material was incomplete and that may interfere with the development of certain functions in her life. I understand and accept that whole heartedly. It may make my life a little harder but I would rather have her here in diapers than not here at all.
I wasn’t alway’s so hopeful but I was able to move above that and see my child’s full potential. The thought of losing my child takes my breath away, it leaves me gasping for air. My heart hurts and the mere thought overwhelms me to tears. I have been horrified to hear other parents speak about their children passing as if it’s just something they expect to happen and as long as they get there for that moment they are fine with it. I just don’t understand how someone can be so cold, how someone can speak of a loss of a child with no emotion.
It infuriates me to be around these parents who have no hope for their children, these parents that are ungrateful for the health and progress of their children. It infuriates me to see how unfair life can be, so many of us would give our lives to help our children be healthy and grow. Those whose children are healthier and striving to development have ungrateful parents who only focus on the negative aspect of having a child with special needs. Or they focus on the idea of having to care for a child that interrupts the life they had planned and want to live.
There are so many ungrateful parents out there who put on a pretty mask so the world thinks they are the best parents ever but whose ugly truth exists.
I give thanks to God and the universe for my child everyday. I am grateful she is a part of me, a part of my life.