Love yourself, not your looks

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We live in an era where young girls are taught that their looks are all that matter, and we have toddlers who are already obsessed with their looks. And it’s all society’s fault and by society I mean, all of us.

As young girls the notion that we must look perfect at all times is drilled into us either at home or with almost every social interaction we encounter or have encountered. Why? Because we live in a world that has been dominated by men, the very men who have made us think that we are less than them. We must be thin, we must have perfect hair, we must never leave the house without make up etc. Why? Who are we trying to please? The truth is women have been and are still being raised to believe they have to be porcelain dolls to please men for many years, until now. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and want him happy and I want him to feel proud that I am his wife but my goal is not to be beautiful for him. The truth is we should not be trying to please anyone other than ourselves nor should we be teaching these negative traits to our children.

Each of us is different, unique and special. Why not teach our children to love themselves and others. Let’s NOT teach our daughters and sons to grow up with negativity in their hearts and a senseless obsession to look like something they are not.

I grew up feeling ugly, I was thin so I remember making fun of my sister who was heavier than me. Yes that was cruel but when that is what you are taught is ok, than you don’t know otherwise. As I grew up and began to have children I began to gain weight, a lot of it. I struggled for a good fifteen years with depression, and a huge part of that was that I hated what I looked like. I was fat, period. And being fat was wrong, never mind that I was healthy I was fat and that’s all anyone could ever see so that is all I saw.

I put myself through dozens of diets, I lost weight a couple of times including sixty-five pounds in 2004 which required 2-4 hours of exercise daily. I still hated how I looked, my grandmother saw me one day and cried, she asked me to stop losing weight because I looked sick. And the crazy part was that according to the doctors charts I was still overweight.

I can now look back now and see how truly beautiful I was all along. I am beautiful, I have always been and it has nothing to do with my looks. It is my unconditional love for others, my extreme dramatics which fuel my passion, my ability to forgive and help others, my outgoing and fun personality and so much more. Those qualities are what make me beautiful but it does so from the inside out. It was always me, my looks are only a part of me they are not who I am.

Having Sophie helped me realize that difficult truth and after many years of self torment I can honestly say I love myself exactly the way I am. All my 208 lbs. I have cellulite, stretch-marks, a loose tummy and saggy boobs and that’s ok. Those are my medals of honor for creating six beautiful souls and nursing them with life. Every stretch mark and cellulite dimple are a part of my journey and I love them because they are a part of me.

I am healthy, I eat healthy and I am very active but yet I still weigh a lot and that’s ok. We are not all meant to be thin, sometimes genetics have a lot more to do with our physical makeup. My sister is now thin and I am the heavy one and that is totally ok with me because I love myself and her.

Instead of teaching our children to bully themselves why not teach them to be healthy. Eat fruits and vegetables instead of fast food, drink water or teach them to make natural juices or smoothies instead of soda and energy drinks. Let’s get our children off of electronics and out into the community, go to the park, volunteer or play sports. Let’s teach our children to live and love who they are because they are perfect the way that they were created.

I am a mom. I am thirty-five years old. I am not thin, I have wrinkles and I hate to wear makeup. I spend most of my days in jeans, t-shirts and converse. At home I’m always in my pajamas and most of them are all bleach stained and I love them! Some days I forget to fix my hair and I look hysterical and I’m ok with that. I don’t care what people think about me or my looks anymore and I have to say it is pure freedom. I love my curves’, all of them!

So learn to love yourself. If you really want to lose weight and be thin then do it. But do it for yourself not to because you are trying to please other people’s images of what you should look like. You can do anything you truly set your mind too.

Our ultimate goal as a society should be to be HEALTHY! We should teach love, acceptance and equality. Let’s teach our children to love themselves and others not what they see in the mirror.

 

 

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